sometimes

i am overcome by my own imagination

especially when the remedy is so nearby
at arm's length, to rub and touch and be soft to

still the only way i can be soft
still the only man for the unavoidable kiss
still the only man for the tortuous love

i open my eyes and see these hints
these clues
these signs from you
so easily misread into

and i see you next to me and near to me and protecting me
with your hand on the small of my back
hovering there from time to time

and then i close my eyes and i see your hand
actually reaching through the miles
between your fingertips and my skin
and i see your mouth
soft and clear and near mine

and i see your hands
holding my face and wiping away the tears
of wanting and wanting and wanting
and finally, the quenching look that ends the wanting

you have known me for years
and now i'd like to show you more
and please not to have you disappear into the smoke

i close my eyes and the signals have written
in smokey seared lines on the backs of my lids
that you are aching for me the same way
i ache for your hands

being here without you today feels wrong and
sad.

i will lay right down and dream of you, yes i will.
I’ll blow a kiss to you, yes I will.