these have no names

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All the Fire

All the flame
And the fire
And the heat
That bit into every nerve I had
With sweet sweet irresistible teeth
Has left
And for all the pain of the bite,
Id rather bleed.

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It begins with one soft touch,
A surprise to my neck
My ear,
Your breath on my ear,
It opened my eyes in a gasp
And my mouth in an “o”
And made my muscles go tense and loose
And tense again.

No, the first time wasn’t good.
It was awkward and strange
A newborn thing on my mouth
And I was totally unaware of how to make it work
If it was working
So, that being that…
I missed out on the warmness of the newness of my first kiss.

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When words have failed,
Touch came and translated, translated, understood.
Touch understood.

Touch led to kiss led to moan led to linger
Lingering eyes and hands and fingers and lips and eyes
Eyes and eyes and eyes
Led to bed led to nothing in between.

Nothing in between led to trust.
Led to trust. Led to trust. Led to trust.
Led to love.

Led to care
Led to concern led to compassion led to
Sympathy led to pain led to pain
Pain pain pain pain pain pain

Pain numbed the words,
The words always failed
The touch tried to translate, tried to understand
But the touch was hard to come by, the touch was hard.
The touch never came.

Led to pain pain pain led to pain.
Led to sad, led to truth, led to lies, led to disbelief and unsureities and insecurities and doubts led to hope.

Hope led to you.

Hope was always led to you, when words failed and touch never came.

Hope led to you.

Hope led to love led to love love love love love love love
Led to you.

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Pressed near your warm firm chest I feel safe god help me I feel safe and I hate myself for it that it is only when in your arms that I feel fine I feel fine in your arms and near you and you get me without me speaking and you know me and I want to know how you know and what you think and I want to know why it is that you let me into your arms and your bed is it because I insist or because my insistence lets you let down your walls and let me in if only for a few minutes a night
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oh you let me in for a few minutes every day and those minutes feel so good
they feel so god damn good
and they feel so right.
“he sees you as a woman”
she says and I cried
because it’s so true and so right
and that’s why I love it.
That’s why I need it
Sadly
But you’re the first man I know to see me for what I am
And still see me as the woman that I’ve never known

God help me, I want to be a woman to you.
I want to keep being a woman to you
I want to keep feeling like a woman.